The Meaning of Merit

As my first round of veterinary medical school exams approached, anxiety and uncertainty tinged each day. The upperclassmen had warned us not to rely on the study habits that brought us success in undergrad. While this advice didn’t apply to every course for me personally, I did find myself during the first few weeks of school quickly running out of printer ink and binder space after stubbornly insisting on printing power points (this just doesn’t work when you have four lectures a day, most with 100+ slides per

presentation); frantically transferring over to electronic notes; cry-screaming about how frustrating computers are; fumbling through various study strategies; then uneasily settling on one that seemed to be effective. Of course, I wouldn’t truly know if it had been effective until after the first exams. What kind of student would I be? Would I meet my own expectations for myself? Would I meet my professors’ expectations? Would I still belong here if I didn’t? Most importantly, was the $800 tablet worth it??? (It was.)

Most of these questions oppressing me centered around the concept of academic merit. The word “merit” has starkly different connotations when referred to in the secular world versus the church. In academic settings, we typically associate “merit” with success or achievement, following Merriam-Webster’s definition, “character or conduct deserving reward, honor or esteem.”1 This “merit” tends to be reflected in a person’s grade or other accomplishments which can be documented on paper; it’s the “merit” students –myself included – tend to strive for, to stress over.

In contrast, the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes merit as “recompense owed,” which is associated with the virtue of justice and the principle of equality.2 For the saints, merit is “pure grace”: “Grace, by uniting us to Christ in active love, ensures the supernatural quality of our acts and consequently their merit before God and before men.”3 The Catholic Church recognizes that our achievements come through God, by His love for us. We boldly claim, With regard to God, there is no strict right to any merit on the part of man. Between God and us there is an immeasurable inequality, for we have received everything from Him, our Creator.3 All we do and all we are comes from God. This is why we believe our worth is in our identity as a child of God, not our successes. While the secular world insists merit is brought about through effort and skill, the Christian world maintains that merit is “itself due to God.”4

When Saint Maria Faustina, who had an intimate spousal relationship with Jesus, saw her confessor suffering, she asked Jesus why He was ordering the priest to act amid such trials. On two separate occasions, Jesus responded:

“’Write that by day and by night my gaze is fixed upon him and I permit these adversities in order to increase his merit. I do not reward for good results but for the patience and hardship undergone for my sake.’” 5

“’I am acting thus with him to give testimony that this work is Mine. Tell him not to fear anything; My gaze is on him day and night. There will be as many crowns to form his crowns as there will be souls saved by this work. It is not for the success of a work, but for the suffering that I give reward’” 6

How often does our world reward based on good results (and shame us for lack thereof)? How often do we become possessive of our work, claiming we have complete control over its outcome? And yet, Saint Faustina was twice assured by Jesus that merit is not earned through achievement. It pleases God when we persevere through adversity with patience. We can turn to Him for the strength to endure these trials, and that – God’s “pure grace” – is true merit. I was once told to think of my desk as an altar of sacrifice to God. It has brought much more meaning to my work when I consider that the hours poured in to memorizing tedious bits of information still have a profound purpose even if I do not remember every detail in the future, because this means I have persevered through hardship for Jesus’ sake.

As exams and other assessments come up, trust that the dedication you put into your work will be rewarded, in this world and the next. Consciously directing my efforts toward the goal of learning, not academic merit, has lowered my stress levels and allowed success to follow naturally. Even Jesus says, “’I cannot do anything on my own’” (John 5:30) for the Father is the source of all. I earned my best anatomy exam score when I spent all morning leading up to the exam in prayer at the chapel, rather than my usual excessive fluster of cram studying. You can always find an endless amount of information to memorize, but never underestimate the importance of dropping all your anxieties at the foot of the cross. Keep in mind, “Prayer attends to the grace we need for meritorious actions.”7 So, persevere in study and in prayer, confident that Jesus’ gaze is fixed upon us day and night.



References

  1. Merriam-Webster. Merit. Available at: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/merit. Accessed Aug 24, 2020.
  2. Catechism of the Catholic Church, (Missouri: Liguori, 1994), 2006.
  3. Catechism of the Catholic Church, (Missouri: Liguori, 1994), 2007.
  4. Catechism of the Catholic Church, (Missouri: Liguori, 1994), 2008.
  5. Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul, (Massachusetts: Stockbridge, Marian Press, 2019), Notebook I, 86.
  6. Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul, (Massachusetts: Stockbridge, Marian Press, 2019), Notebook I, 90.
  7. Catechism of the Catholic Church, (Missouri: Liguori, 1994), 2010.

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